"I wasn’t meant to be good."

i cant believe i've started blogging again.
it all feels so weird and distant, but i remember it used to help.
i'm coming to the close of summer session and i couldn't be more excited.
i've become a whale and everything is falling apart.
its funny because the "disordered" past was so much happier and simpler.
i almost feel silly writing again and going back to old habits, but i want to trace back where things went wrong...figure out how things got so unfortunate.
i've got about a million pages to write for finals, so the posts in the next week will be pretty short, but once i'm home ill be alone [finally, and the real type too, not the one where your surrounded by a million people everywhere all waiting for you to fail] and i can finally listen to myself and figure things out.
i wonder when everything will make sense again.


what a shame though that normal things couldn't be good.