Thursday, November 18, 2010

"Men have called me mad; but the question is not yet settled, whether madness is or is not the loftiest intelligence"

- edgar allen poe

thats how i feel right now
i have so much to do/organize.
im going to see harry potter tonight and i should be so excited but instead im feeling so much angst
i feel like this term i've developed some sort of social anxiety disorder.
i avoid wherever people are, and have learned to seamlessly navigate my campus so that noone will spot me. people always ask if im active this term whenever they see me and for a while i was tempted to just say no.
since im suddenly stuck home for the winter i have to send out my resume to hosiptals around my hometown and pray a doctor will let me shadow them. i also had to send the most awkward email to the manager of the internship i had in the city.
foodwise im doing great. i havent eaten anything today and im not hungry. im going to the gym after my class (forgot to mention i went on a long run yesterday morning, as i said before, the fire is back)
my plan for today is to grab an odwalla or a bannana or some sort of protein before i hit the gym. nothing annoys me more than being sore and lightheaded. lightheaded i can deal with, but soreness....not so much. ill just have to sort out my life to distract me later when i get hungry. im supposed to go to dinner with some friends before harry potter but im going to say that my cavities are a bitch and i have a sore tooth. eh, whatever works. last night i couldnt sleep, but when i did, i kept dreaming about having thin, stick-like legs...

too bad it was just a dream. 

1 comment:

  1. I've been avoiding people, too. I think it goes hand in hand with the ED. A lot of social activities revolve around food. It gets harder and harder to avoid food and avoid eating, so I figure it's easier to just stay home and hide...

    Good luck with sending out your resume and everything!